That's Fit

I know we don't usually think of the phrase "make your own" anything when it comes to reducing stress. But in the case of kids' meals, I honestly believe it applies.

We often divert to going out to eat when we're maxed out on stress and running way short on time. However, let's disect this knee-jerk reaction a bit and see how much time we're really saving:

By the time kids are loaded into the car, you drive to a restaurant, wait in line to order or wait to be seated, decide what to order, wait for it to be prepared, eat it and come home, you could have easily boiled some water for pasta and steamed veggies and called it a night. Think about it. What's really easier? Another thing I like to do to save time and feed my family, make a couple of dishes on Sunday that can be eaten all week long: enchiladas, a pot of soup, lasagna. I also often make chicken tenders with a package of chicken cut in that format, dipped in bread crumbs, salt and pepper and sauteed in a little olive oil. Takes 10 minutes, tops.


If you still prefer to go out, knowing what's in kids' meals at various restaurants might stress you out enough to keep you home. According to the article, one Chili's Bar and Grill kids' meal composed of country-fried chicken crispers, cinnamon apples and chocolate milk contained 1,020 calories, while another composed of cheese pizza, homestyle fries, and lemonade contained 1,000 calories. A Burger King meal with a double cheeseburger, fries, and chocolate milk has 910 calories, and Sonic has a "Wacky Pack" with 830 calories worth of grilled cheese, fries, and a slushie.

While there are some healthy choices on restaurant menus, "parents have to navigate a minefield of calories, fat and salt to find them," the report said. Plus, there's the price of the food and the gas to get to the restaurant.

Now do you believe me that it's less stressful to stay at home?

There is no shortage of various styles on the market with new-fangled designs and supports. I don't own one, but I make it a habit to give hammocks a whirl whenever I have the opportunity. I still remember lounging in one with my husband on the Big Island of Hawaii under the moonlight at the Hilton Waikoloa Village resort after completing the Kona Marathon earlier that day in 2002.

But certainly one does not need to complete a marathon, visit an island or stay at a resort to make use of this lovely time-tested practice. I recently had the opportunity to make use of a hammock with my daughter in my brother-in-law's back yard in Northern California. It was the traditional woven style that allows gravity to force all of your muscles into relaxation. They are the best kind, I think. Since then, I've been scouting my yard for a good spot. I think I've found one in between two solid trees in the back. Just in time to enjoy the pleasant Fall temps and foliage.

If you travel by airplane at all for a trip that lasts more than a carry-on's worth of clothes, you know the worry. Will my suitcase weigh more than 50 pounds and I'll have to pay extra? Airline luggage allowances are a pittance these days. The airlines giveth -- blankets, pillows, peanuts, room for luggage -- and the airlines taketh away. Unless you pay, of course.

First, let me say that I realize that, to the inexperienced, 50 pounds may sound like a ridiculous weight for a suitcase. How could anyone pack that much stuff for a trip? Let me tell you, it adds up quick. And now that more of us have to add those heavy toiletry bags to the check-in mix to avoid the potential of having our shampoo tossed out at the security checkpoint, it's worse. And, if you've got a kid to pack stuff for in your luggage, well, it's a challenge to keep that weight under control.

There's really no way to take all the stress out of air travel, but we've found an easier way to determine if we've put on too many travel pounds without struggling to see the scale over the suitcase we're holding.We've been using this handy suitcase scale for our past several trips to via Southwest Airlines to California to see our families. So worth the $10 I spent. There's also a digital version of the same thing. Or, if you're in the market for a new suitcase, some have built-in scales. Pretty cool.

Air travel with children pretty much defines the ultimate in stress. But upon touching down last night for our two-week vacation in our native California, my husband and I were marveling at how much easier air travel has become now that our daughter is 3. It's downright pleasant, in fact. No packs of diapers to haul or awkward toys. One change of clothes is enough. But then there's the stroller and that darn car seat. Seems the kids need them until they're 12 now. And we have to have one for the car once we come down from the sky.

Until the car seat is in its rightful place, lugging it around can be an awfully annoying chore. A handy carrying case with wheels has been our salvation during the past three years of nearly thrice yearly trips back and forth from the East to West coast to maintain family relationships outside of Facebook. There are many variations on the concept.

But of course there's something better now. Just like getting a new cell phone right before the newest, coolest one comes out, baby gear seems to get better just a little too late to be able to take advantage. Parents can now use one piece of equipment that does double duty as a stroller and a car seat. It tows car seat size kids around just like a suitcase on wheels in this very cool contraption. Just when I was feeling a little bit good about how much easier our airport lives had become, turns out we're way behind the times. I'm going to drown my sorrows in the pool now.

I typically like to address my Stress Less installments to everyone, but this one is for parents of preschoolers who are potty training. That's because I've noticed potty training tends to cause the most stress amongst my fellow parental cohorts. I'm not going to offer magic tricks for how to get your kids to use the potty. But I will aim to ease minds about doing so in public restrooms.

I actually find it strange that parents allow their kids to romp without a care on pesticide laden grass in public parks, identified as such with those handy little flags, but freak out if their child touches anything in a public restroom. Fifty percent of American women won't sit on a seat and they teach their kids to do the same. But in an ABC News test, the toilet turned out to be the cleanest thing in the public restroom. As the subsequent report points out, you're not going to get germs from your backside. You're going to get them from your hands.

There really is little need to worry anyway. At least not about genital herpes or HIV. But you might worry about staph infections. It's possible to contract an infection from potty seats, but it's not as likely as you might think. The bottom line: as long as you wash your hands after a trip to the bathroom, you and your kids will likely never acquire anything by way of the public potty.

I've often been struck by the myriad stress relief techniques that involve water, from tabletop fountains to aerobics in the pool as well as warm baths or taking a spin on a boat.

But why does water work?

According to this newsletter on therapeutic techniques, the body has a relationship with water which is both primordial and present and there are many reasons why we might be drawn to water to feel better: we are made up largely of water and life is composed of water, providing all living things with a flow of nutrients as well as a channel of elimination. Perhaps this is why stress relief with water has moved beyond the warm bath into the realm of hydrotherapy.

According to this hydrotherapy source a warm bath (ranges from 35°C to 40°C) relaxes the body and soothes sore areas, increases blood circulation in skin, promotes cell renewal, and eliminates toxins through perspiration and lymphatic drainage. Water has a hydrostatic effect that stimulates touch receptors on skin and boosts blood circulation. Far beyond stress relief, the technique can be effective for treating rheumatic diseases and arthritis and improve fitness levels in dogs and horses.

Personally, nothing works quite like a dip in the ocean.

According to the article, our bodies use sleep to release certain hormones, including those essential for growth and development. If we wake in the middle of the night, those functions are disrupted. One example is cortisol. For people with normal sleep patterns, this stress hormone peaks around 4 a.m. We're blissfully unaware because we snooze through it. Then, a doctor is quoted as saying: "If you're awake longer than you should be for a few days, that puts your body under stress, which leads to higher levels of cortisol."

Let's hope I have some luck tonight.

Try to find a person who doesn't enjoy a massage to relax. You'd be hard-pressed. Of all the stress-relieving techniques out there, massage is my absolute favorite.

Certainly, massage relieves muscle pain and soreness, but it appears to be most popular for stress relief. It's effectiveness is largely due to the fact that manipulating the muscles releases endorphins, the brain's natural opiates, which encourages a feeling of well being and confidence. Studies show massage can be helpful for various ailments. But when looking at the list, one can't help but notice many of the benefits involve the mind more than the body. Consider the following from a Mayo Clinic article:

Time. Our greatest resource. I'll debate it with anyone. And I'll win.

Lack of it is responsible for most of what stresses us out. And taking it back is what makes us feel better. The idea of taking a few minutes to relax at the end of the day is possibly the most commonly given advice for recovering from a stressful day. Such a simple solution and so satisfying. But how often do you actually do it? Seems I witness more time spent complaining about now having time than taking time to shut up and relax.

And it makes a world of difference. However, those few minutes would not be quite as decadent for me if not for adding a glass of wine to the equation. Also pretty common, I know. Again, when's the last time? And it's not such a bad idea. In moderation, wine can actually be a good thing. It can even have an antioxidant effect. For some adding chocolate makes for the ultimate de-stress recipe.

So stop fretting that you don't have time or can't afford the calories and sit down with a bite or sip of something nice. For five minutes. OK, two. Whatever. The point is this: ridding ourselves of a day's stress isn't about large quantities of time, wine, chocolate or anything else. It's about coming up with your perfect recipe, whatever that may be. Just so long as it's small and simple.

I have houseguests arriving this afternoon. And my daughter's birthday party is this weekend. So, I've just spent two days cleaning my house. Granted, I don't clean often, so it was pretty dirty. But two days? Sore feet? Sore back? The money I could have made working in the time I spent scraping bits of Play Doh off the floor! This got me to thinking. And I dared to consider that I may be able to afford to pay someone to clean the house.

First, let's back up a bit. I'm not that old. But I grew up when "cleaning ladies" were still considered a luxury. Something, or someone rather, who rich people could afford to pay to clean their homes while they worked or played. Certainly good mothers and housewives didn't hire them.

Today, things have changed. Immigration has caused labor costs to plummet. And many middle class families employ housekeepers, a more politically correct title to be sure. What's more, many housekeeping businesses are now offering eco-friendly cleaning services, a big bonus for the health of the planet and you. So, I'm thinking it might be wiser, better for my household economy and the local economy, and healthier for my body and psyche to have the house cleaned more thoroughly in four hours than in the more than 14 it took me. What do you think? Other than that I'm crazy to clean at all before a bunch of 3-year-olds arrive to eat chocolate cupcakes in my house?

While some may downplay sexual harassments by calling them "harmless compliments," or "unwanted sexual attention," two recent surveys suggest that sexual harassment is not only prevalent, but can have serious impacts on mental health. And, contrary to conventional wisdom, this is not just a female issue. Males also reported harassment, though lesser in number and severity.

When I was a child, my great uncle would bring me gifts from the Far East. He worked as a waiter on a cruise ship, a job that offered ample opportunity for visiting places all over the world, especially the Orient.

One of his gifts was a pair of Laughing Buddhas, which he explained would bring me luck if I rubbed their bellies. I don't know if doing so ever brought me luck, but it did bring me comfort in the idea that it could. And I still occasionally take part in the folkloric practice, although it does not form part of any Buddhist doctrine. Still, the Laughing Buddha is often admired for his happiness, plenitude, and wisdom of contentment.

There is perhaps a more effective technique within Buddhist tradition for bringing comfort to one's mind and ease stress. Mindfulness plays a central role in the teaching of the Buddha. It involves close examination of inner reality, upon which one finds that happiness is not exclusively a quality brought about by a change in outer circumstances, but rather by realizing happiness often starts with loosening and releasing attachment to thoughts.

The practice has become known as an antidote for various ailments, notably type-A stress and depression. Sounds like great news. And the better news is that one not subscribe to the whole belief system, albeit an attractive one, to borrow part of it as a means of calming the mind.

One of the biggest stress inducers for me lately has been finding enough activities to keep my young daughter occupied. Structure and focus seem to be requirements to prevent afternoons filled with whining and crying. Park and pool trips, walks, craft projects, Play Doh and coloring books, and when all else fails, TV. Usually Dora the Explorer.

And then there's her birthday party coming up. She'll be 3. And about 10 other 3-year-olds will be joining her to celebrate. An afternoon of whining, crying 3-year-olds would take more bottles of wine without the "h" than I can afford. So I've come up with the following ideas to get me through the afternoon sober:

• Strategy No. 1: A goal contest with a soccer ball and a Diego doll strategically placed as goalie. They can kick to their heart's content and everyone will get a handmade ribbon for their efforts.
• Strategy No. 2: Craft project. Ten foam sun visors in the same color to prevent fights for favorites. Foam stickers to decorate as well as foam letters to spell out names. Cost for supplies: $28. Value of a few minutes of peace at the party: priceless. Added bonus: the kids have a favor to take home.
• Strategy No. 3: Cupcakes. No ice cream. Save yourself from cutting and serving and scooping. Enough said.

More good news: The first two can be used any old time. And you can find more ideas here. So good luck. And hang in there until September!

I am not a picky eater. But I'm picky about the quality of the food I eat. I try to stick with whole foods, avoiding pre-made or processed foods as much as possible. But I'm also time-pressed like everyone else, so I like the idea of having a frozen meal I can microwave in a pinch.

Sure, there's several such options that are supposedly healthy from such makers as Healthy Choice, Lean Cuisine, and Weight Watchers in the frozen section at grocery stores. But the sodium content, additives and preservatives don't appeal to me. And I consume as much organic meat, dairy and produce as much as possible.

I've found ways to adhere to my food foibles without making meal time more work than it should or needs to be at stressful times.

I recently started running again. Since completing the Kona Marathon six years ago this month, my stride has been very sporadic. I bought my first house, had my first kid, moved across the country and bought my second house. I lost my focus and began getting a workout in any way I could and with a variety of activities.

That hasn't been a bad thing, necessarily. But I realized a while back how much I missed the mental benefits of running. It may be hard on your knees, but it's sure great for your head. All exercise is supposed to be. But I've never experienced anything like the clarity, absence of depression and pure elation that running induces.

And for those of you out there that think running isn't for you or have tried to run a mile and given up, please reconsider. Save for those dreaded laps in junior high gym class, I had never incorporated running into my active life before training for that marathon. In my experience, the payoff is well worth the painful beginnings. Pretty soon, you'll hit your stride. And it doesn't matter if it's a slow one, either. Habitual marathoners are a whole lot thinner and faster than I am, but I've got a head that's every bit as healthy as theirs.